Bapa Surgawi

Enam atau tujuh tahun yang lalu, saya mengikuti KOMJak. Di retret pembukanya Romo Harry mengajak peserta untuk menyanyikan lagu Bapa Surgawi. 

Bapa Surgawi ajarku mengenal
Betapa dalamnya kasihMu
Bapa surgawi buatku mengerti
Betapa kasihMu padaku
Semua yang terjadi didalam hidupku
Ajarku menyadari kau selalu sertaku
Dihatiku selalu bersyukur padaMu
Karna rencanaMu indah bagiku

Jujur pada saat itu, saya tidak merasakan apa-apa. Saya ga familiar dengan lagunya, hanya tau itu lagu Nikita. Hanya moment itu cukup berkesan, mungkin karena menurut saya lagunya biasa saja dan kenapa romo pilih lagu ya? 

Jadi sampai sekarang, lagu itu identik dengan romo Harry. Namun belakangan ini, saya semakin mengerti dan tersentuh dengan lagu ini dan bahkan menjadi satu lagu favorit kalau lagi nyetir. 

Saya ga habis mikir, kenapa Tuhan mau ciptain saya? Kenapa Tuhan mengasihi saya. Rasanya ga nyata aja bahwa ada yang peduli, ada yang sayang sama saya. Walaupun mengetahui segala hal yang telah saya perbuat, namun kasih-Nya tetap ada untuk saya. 

Dalam setiap kesalahan dan dosa yang telah saya buat, Tuhan tetap memperbaiki semuanya dan menjadikannya indah. Padahal Dia tidak harus melakukan itu semua. 

Rasanya kalau mau direnungin “Saya dikasihi Tuhan,” maka tidak akan ada habisnya. 

Terima kasih Tuhan.. 


Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, readers!

I can’t believe more than 3 months have passed since New Year and I don’t think I’ve done anything remarkable.

I have to admit that this blog is dying every single day. I don’t forget, but it’s really difficult to make time and I’m not sure whether I still have the passion to write. Anyway, I will try to make time, I promise you that.

So, what have I done since my last update?

Well, I still help running my family Japanese Restaurant. In addition, I also take over the Catholic book shop in my Church. So my day usually starts at 6.15 am and ends when I’m done, usually after 9 pm, this runs from Monday to Sunday, except for public holiday (but not when the PH is on Sunday).

Besides that, I am also trying my best to make time for reading, my other hobbies. But most of my day are spent behind the wheel. So awhile back, I tried listening to Audiobook for Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. While it was good (I managed to listen to the whole book), but it’s a different sensation with reading because it’s difficult for me to re-listen if I missed something.

In short, I’m trying to do activities that I used to like in the past but doing it better this time because those activities made me who I was and I want to be the person who I was a few years ago, but I want to be better. A whole lot better!


In Memoriam : Auntie Pat

Auntie Pat passed away yesterday morning.
I knew her since I was 8 years old. She worked in my supplier’s office in Singapore. She was always very kind and generous. She would always have sweets, toys, etc to give me whenever I went there with my late dad. Meeting her would always make my day.
She had been sick for some time. The last Lunar New Year, she was hospitalised and she insisted her sister to call my mum because she wanted to give my mum something and also red packets for me and my sister. At that time, I believe we knew that this moment was coming.
But no matter how much you prepare, I can never be prepared for this. I don’t know. Maybe because I seldom experience the few deaths in my family that I experienced were sudden that I didn’t have time to grieve or… maybe I don’t want to. My father’s death happened just like that, so was my grandma’s. Uncle Jan’s too. It happened to quick and sudden that I didn’t have time to process anything. After that, life went back to normal. I have never been good at saying goodbye and probably never will.
DearAuntie Pat,
Thank you for the joy and blessing you have brought into my life. I will miss you and you will never be forgotten.


I woke up around 3.30 am last night, due to my “imaginary cat” scratching my bed in my dream. I donn’t know why I didn’t pray the chaplet last night.. or maybe I know why..

Anyway, I also woke up around 3.30 am again just now. This time, I got up and prayed the Koronka. and suddenly I remember this song :

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God..

I have not heard this song for so long. I was surprised that it could come to mind out of nowhere. I remember the first time I heard this song. I think it was during a youth retreat in 2007.

For today reading from The Diary of St. Faustina :

1173 In spite of the profound peace my soul is enjoying, I am struggling continuously, and it is often a hard-fought battle for me to walk faithfully along my path; that is, the path which the Lord Jesus wants me to follow. And my path is to be faithful to the will of God in all things and at all times, especially by being faithful to inner inspirations in order to be a receptive instrument in God‟s hands for the carrying out of the work of His fathomless mercy.

It’s good to know that even a Saint is struggling to answer His calling.

I think I should sleep now, or else it could go on and on an on till morning.

3 am again (what?!)

today is another experience where I woke up at 3 am. I feel this is no coincidence. I prayed my usual Divine Mercy Chaplet with the intention to anything who needed it.

Honestly, this is getting rather strange.
But I’m definitely happy to have the opportunity to pray around this time.

Anyway, The Legion of Mary meeting was interesting as usual and I finally got to probation and also my first visit. However, I’m down with flu. Hopefully it will go away soon.

Jesus loves you all.

3 am (again)

another morning where I accidentally woke up around 3 am. I just did a chaplet of Divine Mercy and I found it very comforting.

I just read the news about the bombing in Bangkok and it was horrible. One of the reporter said that it was very graphic as body parts scattered all over the place. There were 9 people dead (If I remember correctly) and about 120 people injured.

I need to pray for the victims and their families.